Listen…

When you lose a 100 pounds a lot of change happens. The obvious ones are the changes to your physical appearance and your health, but there is a much more profound change that surpasses both: the change to who you are and what you can be.

When I was a 255 pound 16 year old kid I was someone with no purpose. I was living a lonely, depressed, and hopeless life by always playing the victim to everything that happened. I refused to take accountability for my actions and this lead to a piss-poor attitude, a sad face, and no joy, happiness, or love in my life. I’m not saying no one cared or loved me, that’s furthest from the truth, but I just refused to allow people in or help because I hated my life and who I was.

Why

When my parents divorced at a young age it was traumatic. When you’re 10 years old and have no one to talk to that’s a recipe for disaster. It scars you and the only way for me to cover it up and escape the hurricane of emotional distress was food. I started eating more and more as the years went by only while becoming more and more introverted, insecure, and isolated at the same time. Finally, when my father passed away shortly after I turned 15 everything went to shit. I felt abandoned at the time–looking back now that is completely selfish–and left for dead. Life seemed pointless for me and I was giving up.

Then something happened

One day I really looked myself in the mirror and broke-down. I was completely ashamed of who I became and cried. But, something miraculous happened. A fire ignited in me and I refused to accept being a pathetic, fat, ugly, loser. I made a commitment that day to change and the first step was to lose weight. So, I started my journey and refused to quit. As time went on, things got better, and I cranked-up my discipline to eat right and exercise. This start became an obsession and that’s why, to anybody who knows me, is why I’m so particular of what I eat. Eating junk food doesn’t support me and reminds me of my old self. I never want to go back there again and will do anything and everything in my power so it doesn’t happen.

What does this all mean

Losing a 100 pounds has taught me incredible things about myself. The first is that you really can accomplish anything if you only believe and have faith in yourself that you can. It’s proven that I’m not that pathetic, fat, ugly, loser, but instead a handsome, resilient, determined, gracious, and humble young man who loves life. Am I perfect? Absolutely not! But I now understand playing the victim is pointless. Life’s crazy, and unfortunately it’s inevitable sometimes. However, that doesn’t mean you have to stay there.

I believe if you master these three words then you can do anything: Let It Go.”  I haven’t mastered it yet, but I’m getting closer.

Letting go is damn hardbut it’s necessary. Letting go of the past, who you were in your darkest moments, is the only the way to realize your light in the world. Some people won’t appreciate it, but some will. That’s what I’m trying to do and this is why I’m having this frank conversation with all of you 🙂 We all have our problems, but if we don’t face them they’ll never go away. I’ve got many more, but I’m ready to meet them head on and not back-down. I know I will fail and fail often, but I won’t quit. Remember…it’s ok to be the tortoise and not the hare. Slow and consistent works just fine.

Thanks to everybody who read this entirely. I appreciate you! Please leave a comment down below and subscribe if not already. Until next time, stay strong and be you!

photo (9)
Me at 16
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Me at 22 (right now)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Photo Credit)

 

 

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